Oh, except for the part where you actually get engaged and then get married… Hmmm, can’t skip that essential step! The most important thing about this is to make the steps from dating to courtship to engagement to marriage clear and decisive. Getting married is a big deal and you can’t just slide your way there. For a good lesson on that, check out this blogger’s post: Avoiding Proposal Pitfalls.
So now you’re married, you’ve been on your honeymoon, life is great, and you’ve never been happier! Statistics show that marital satisfaction is very high after the “I do”s, and I should hope so! As the marriage progresses, satisfaction increases until a major change happens in a couple’s life.
Cue the stork and bring in the baby!
But once the baby is here, marital satisfaction takes a steep drop. It levels out temporarily until the next child is born… and then marital satisfaction takes another plunge. This pattern continues until the babies stop coming. Once children start to leave the home, satisfaction gets back on the rise.
Seriously though? This is supposed to be normal?! I don’t think so - this is just depressing.
But what can be done? An excellent question.
First of all, you have to realize that once you are married, your Handsome Hubby or Cute Little Wifey is your bestest friend. You share everything with your spouse. This becomes so much more vital once you are pregnant.
Too often, Cute Little Wifey turns primarily to her other pregnant friends to share her experiences. Handsome Hubby has now been left on the sidelines for nine months. Poor guy. Then we hit the delivery room, and who does Cute Little Wifey want there to hold her hand? Her mom. And we can’t blame her too much for that – Mom has already done this, so maybe she can be more understanding.
But wait, where does that leave Handsome Hubby? On the couch – wondering if he’ll ever get to have a part of his baby.
This has to change! This baby was created by Wifey and Hubby – not by Wifey and friends, or Wifey and Mom. Am I saying you shouldn’t keep friends or family up to date? Of course not. But what I am saying is that Handsome Hubby needs to be number one.
Involve him in EVERYTHING. The doctor appointments, the mood swings, the movements Baby is making, googling normal development, going to birthing classes. All of it! This is his child too.
So now you’ve survived your nine months and it is time to bring this baby into the world! No matter what anyone else says, it needs to be Handsome Hubby standing by his Cute Little Wifey. They made the baby together and they will be the ones to bring it into the world together.
This is a sacred bonding moment between a husband and wife and it should be treated as such.
Taking child birth from this angle makes a huge difference on the marital satisfaction trends. Instead of decreasing after each child, satisfaction increases as you grow closer and closer together with each child you bring into the world.
Moral of the story – to be truly happy, remember who you married.