Has anyone told you lately what a terrible parent you are?
Maybe no one has told you directly, but when was the last time someone questioned what you are doing as a parent? When was the last time you read an article telling you how to parent better; or how you are ruining your child by doing things the way you are?
In case you missed the memo, if you aren’t following each and every bit of the latest parenting advice then you are horrible.
The top parenting trend of 2016 was to be more friend than parent to your children. Next was to teach your children that nothing is “wrong” and they must accept everything. Aside from the necessity of creating completely new and original baby names, the next 3 trends all have to do with outsourcing one’s parenting roles to others.
In 2011 the trends were quite different. They included hand-crafted “do it yourself” nurseries; educational iPad apps; hands-off parenting; matching Mommy-and-Me outfits; and asking strangers on the internet for parenting advice.
Parenting advice and trends change with each year. So let’s be real here – are you actually a bad parent if you didn’t make all of your baby’s blankets or home-make all of their baby food? Of course not! And who has time for that anyways? Ridiculous.
But when was the last time you told yourself that you are a bad parent for not doing these things?
It’s time to set the record straight: There is no perfect way to parent!
Are you shocked that amongst the mountains of parenting advice and opinions someone would actually say such a validating thing? Let me say it again:
There is no perfect way to parent!
Here are the most important things in parenting: Do you love your child and do they know it? Do they have good food and nutrition? Do they have warm shelter? Do you engage them as much as you are able?
Then you are winning!
Do you use formula or do you breastfeed exclusively? Do you co-sleep or does your baby have their own bed/crib? Are you introducing purees or jumping straight to finger foods? Do you use cloth diapers or disposable diapers? Are you a strict vegan or do you let your kids eat stale French fries off the floor of your van?
Does it really matter? Science will always be coming out with new research. We will never reach a point where we know every detail about what is best for children in every aspect of their development. So follow your instincts.
This is your child and you know them better than anyone. Do what works for you and what works for your family.
I do not mean to imply that you shouldn’t seek out information or try to improve in various ways. Learning what you can is always of benefit to you and your family! But don’t beat yourself up when you aren’t as good as you hoped at implementing what you learn.
Never feel bad or think you need to apologize because you do things differently than someone else. You are a great parent just as you are.
When you look at other parents, you see only what they want you to see. Don’t compare yourself to that. Don’t compare your faults to other people’s strengths.
So many children don’t even have parents the way that they should. The fact that you are there, that you take care of them, and that you are emotionally involved says a lot.
You are doing it right.