I remember in my early teens being terrified that my family was going to break up. Clips from television shows flashed in my mind of fathers and husbands forgetting birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. The result was either a massive argument or cold silence from their upset and offended wives and children.
All I knew was that this could not happen in my family. I wanted my parents to stay together and be happy - and I was going to do everything I could to keep the television drama out of our family. So I made myself the backup plan my dad didn’t know about.
I bought the cheesiest lovey-dovey card I could find for cheap (I didn’t yet have a job after all), tried to fake my dad’s signature, and put it on the table. I was going to save their marriage before either of my parents knew it was in trouble.
It didn’t take me long to realize that my dad wasn’t the bumbling idiot I had so often seen in TV shows; not that I had ever viewed him that way. My dad not only had a card for my mom – he had a gift and a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
Why is it that the stereotype of husbands and fathers accepted and propagated by society is of bumbling, clueless, forgetful, insensitive, useless idiots? Why has this become a time where men are seen as disposable and replaceable?
I work in a child care center on a university campus. All of the children we take care of are the children of college students, many of whom are also working and struggling to make ends meet and keep their families going. The dads of these children are the absolute best.
I have one dad who comes to check on his baby girl in between every class. There’s another who packs the best lunches for his son – so much so that I’m jealous! There are dads who are exceptionally punctual. Dads who never forget anything. Now this is not to downplay the moms – they are amazing as well. My point is that at least 90% of dads break the stereotype. They are awesome. They do not deserve the degraded role society and the media casts them in.
If we cast women consistently in the same stereotype under which men have been placed, there would be an uproar! Feminists would throw fits and sue and demand for a change. Why do we not create the same uproar on behalf of men?
Men are not useless. They are not inept. They are not stupid. They are not bumbling idiots.
Too long we have bought into this belittling view. Do you know what men really are?
Men are strong.
Men are caring.
Men are practical.
Men are intelligent.
Men are resourceful.
Men are involved.
Men are valuable.
I’m not creating some chick flick version of the ideal man that every woman hopes to find. This is real. I know because I have role models of amazing men and amazing fathers around me all the time. They are not perfect – but they are doing their best.
Men are strong.
Men are caring.
Men are practical.
Men are intelligent.
Men are resourceful.
Men are involved.
Men are valuable.
I’m not creating some chick flick version of the ideal man that every woman hopes to find. This is real. I know because I have role models of amazing men and amazing fathers around me all the time. They are not perfect – but they are doing their best.
But maybe you don’t have these kind of role models around. Then go find one. Go create one. Teach a boy how to be a real man and a real father.
Promote men who are devoted and capable; who love their wife and their children; who strive to do what is best for their families.
Believe in fathers.